Christmas is right around the corner, and I'm experiencing my annual anxiety about how this year I'm going to do the holidays just right! Thanks to my expert planning, amazing baking and flair for decorating, I will truly be the hostess with the mostess! Sadly, this tableau exists only in my mind.
The reality of Christmas is that for the past five years we have had to string lights on our "prelit" tree because none of the "prelit" lights work anymore. Since I'm too cheap to buy a new tree, I am a master at disguising the dud lights with garland and ornaments.
Then there was the legendary Christmas when the 100-pound labradoodle crashed through the picture window in pursuit of his nemesis, the mailman. The boarded-up window decorated with candy canes and wreaths was a very nice touch throughout the holiday season.
And the piece de resistance is the dreaded annual Christmas picture that needs to be taken for the annual Christmas card. Every year, I delude myself into thinking that all my kids will show up wearing adorable festive sweaters clamoring to have their picture taken while drinking hot chocolate and singing Xmas carols. The reality is there is a great deal of grumbling, complaining and moving about as I try to corral four grown children for the perfect photo—it's like herding cats. When I start feeling the pressure of not living up to holiday hype, I like to watch Christmas movies about dysfunctional families, so I feel better about my own circumstances. It's kind of pathetic, but hey, it gets me through. Below are some of my faves:
The Family Stone: Chaos ensues when the beloved son of a quirky, liberal family comes home for Christmas with his uptight, conservative fiancee.
Christmas Vacation: The Griswold family is up to their usual hijinks in this Christmas-themed movie. It's got everything—redneck relatives, an exploding turkey and enough Christmas lights to illuminate an entire city.
Four Christmases: A happily unmarried couple's tropical Christmas vacation is canceled and they are forced to spend Christmas with each other's divorced, dysfunctional families. The holiday takes their relationship to a whole new, not so festive, level.
Home Alone: 8-year-old Kevin is forced to fend for himself when his family accidentally leaves him home in their rush to get to Paris for their Christmas vacation. Kevin manages to defend his home against two bumbling burglars while waiting for his parents to return.
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