Ages and Stages Device Guide

Chicago Public Library welcomes a guest blog post from Dr. Jenny Radesky, a Developmental Behavioral Pediatrician. Her research interests include use of mobile technology by parents and young children and how this relates to child self-regulation and parent-child interaction. She also works with the American Academy of Pediatrics Center of Excellence on Social Media and Youth Mental Health and helped create CPL's Screen Time Guide for Families.

As a pediatrician and media researcher, the number one question I get is “when is the right age for a ______?” Fill in the blank: tablet, smartphone, gaming console, social media account, AI chatbot account...you name it!

To parents, it feels reassuring to know the “right” way to parent around technology. The truth is there is no one magical age for different devices!

Here are the milestones I consider:

• Books should be a kid’s first learning “portable device,” it’s never too early! Research shows that reading to premature infants in the neonatal ICU helps improve parent-child bonding. Books start as a way for parents to speak calmly while snuggling with their infants. Eventually, infants explore by putting them in their mouths, then turn the pages and start to look at the pictures all by themselves. These are building blocks of raising a reader, so start shared book reading under age 1!
• Tablets aren’t necessary in early childhood, but many parents think they are handy on long trips. Some research suggests that toddlers who get their own tablet have more emotional difficulties over time, which may be because a tablet is used frequently to calm them down.
  If you do get a tablet for your family or your child, make sure you have clear time limits, control what can be downloaded and put it out of sight for most of the day so it’s not a temptation.
• Gaming consoles should be introduced no earlier than elementary school, after kids have already established other interests such as reading, art or sports. Gaming is lots of fun but can become a favorite activity that crowds out other important things.
  Companion parental control apps are essential so that parents can manage which days the console is available (I do weekends only with my teen sons). You can also set how many minutes per day, whether they can chat with others (start with no, then only kids they know) and whether games or purchases can be made (start with no).
• Smart watches are used by some families to provide a simpler way for kids to talk, text or have GPS location followed. This can help with independence (for example, walking to school) or as an option when parents don’t think kids are ready for a phone. Watch out for distracting games and notifications. Make sure parental controls are enabled to block distractions.
• Phones can help with independence, coordination between households and texting with friends. Whether your child has a starter phone (like a Gabb or Bark phone) or a smartphone, make sure that it starts out boring. For at least the first year that they have the phone, only enable the most basic functions, such as talk, text, maps and camera. Turn off browser and search unless you can approve only specific websites. Have screen time, app, contact and content settings enabled so that curious kids can’t download social media or games before they’re ready.

Whatever device you are thinking of getting for your child, the most important thing is that you have regular check-ins about whether it’s a good fit for them. If it’s leading to more conflict, distraction or inappropriate content, it’s okay to change the settings or expectations around the device - or even take a break from it. 

For more guidance on tech and kids check out these books:

Connecting: Raising Kids in a Digital World: Check out my book for more evidence-based information about how to handle technology, digital media, social media and more.

Power on: There's a lot of pressure to get screen time exactly right, but educator Ash Brandin helps demystify the reasoning behind all these "rules." Parents will come away feeling more relaxed about screen time, with their eyes opened to the way systemic factors play into their personal choices.

Hello, Cruel World! This collection of scientific studies about the best way to raise children suggests way to help parents raise self-compassionate children who know about systemic inequities and responsibly use devices in our digital world. It is clearly written with an eye toward the practical for all parents.

First Phone: Parents can hand their kids this guide to their first device! It is a clear-eyed look at how phones are different when you can communicate with your friends quickly through text and photos.