Chicago Public Library welcomes a guest blog post from Dr. Jenny Radesky, a Developmental Behavioral Pediatrician. Her research interests include use of mobile technology by parents and young children and how this relates to child self-regulation and parent-child interaction. She also works with the American Academy of Pediatrics Center of Excellence on Social Media and Youth Mental Health and helped create CPL's Screen Time Guide for Families.
Like a lot of pediatricians, I have many patients who would play video games all day if given the chance. This can get in the way of other things kids need to thrive, like sleep and schoolwork. To prevent problems with gaming, I recommend 2 key parenting approaches.
1. Help your child build a love for non-tech activities.
When we do activities like reading, playing with a pet or feeling satisfied with a drawing we made, these are intrinsic rewards. These are based on the joy, progress or mental flow we are feeling.
Video games reward players through coins, in-game items, leveling up and sometimes more manipulative gambling-like designs such as loot boxes. These are extrinsic rewards, meaning they come from the outside.
Before giving your child a gaming console and setting up a regular video game habit, make sure they have established a few other activities they love to do from the inside out. In other words, these are activities they love to do and naturally gravitate towards. Otherwise you may get stuck with your child saying everything else is “boring”. Also, keep the gaming device or console out of their bedroom so that it doesn’t interfere with sleep.
Many kids find it easier to keep doing structured activities with extrinsic rewards (think of a dog who follows a command to shake because he gets a treat each time). It can be much harder to do an unstructured activity (like creating a drawing on a blank page) with only the internal rewards of liking how the crayons smell or how drawing feels in your mind or body.
2. Choose higher-quality games that you can easily monitor, or might even want to play with your child.
This second approach is about video game design. Many parents find it easier to use a console (like a Switch, Playstation or Xbox) that has a companion parental control app. This lets you set whether the child can chat with anyone, what sort of content they can access, and time limits for different days of the week. This is the bare minimum.
You also need to know what your child is playing. Sports games, racing games, strategy, creative or “cozy” games are not associated with behavior or sleep problems if they’re used a moderate amount (a few hours per week). Violent video games and those that allow chatting with strangers or have gambling-like designs carry far more risks. One approach is to avoid free online games because these often have designs that pressure children to watch advertisements, make purchases or use gambling like designs to keep children playing longer. I’ve heard from many families that they stop using games like Roblox or Fortnite because they have too many arguments about purchases or trying to get their child to stop playing.
Video games are fun, but they’re often engineered to be more intense and rewarding than “real life.” Do your best to make sure that video games have a time and a place, and that your child has other non-tech activities that make them feel good.
If you have a gamer at home, they might want to try reading these books about video games and gaming! Here's a few to get you started or check out our longer list.
My Video Game Ate My Home-work: What would you do if you accidentally got pulled into a video game? Dewey gets to experience all the action of his favorite game as a character! But will he be able to get home?
The Genie Game: Valentine lives in a magical world that is thrown off-kilter when her sister goes missing. To rescue her, Valentine has to become top genie in a game where nothing is as it seems.
Lift: Younger gamers will enjoy this story of Iris creating a magical world through her own elevator button that her brother is not allowed to push.
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