People Who Can Easily Beat Me Up

I like to think I'm a lover and not a fighter, but that probably means I'm a coward. If you're foolish enough to put me in a stressful situation, or even to suggest I might have to exert myself, I'm liable to collapse like a damp rag. So every now and then, I like to read books about tough people doing tough things. It lets me pretend I'm strong.

No Easy Day is the memoir of a soldier who took part in the raid that resulted in the death of Osama bin Laden. There was some controversy when the book first came out, partly because the book had not been vetted by the Department of Defense, but that just makes it all the more appealing. I wouldn't want to tick off anyone willing to flout the Department of Defense.

Empire of Blue Water covers the history of privateer Sir Henry Morgan, who scourged the Spanish colonies during the 17th century in the name of Brittania, adventure, honor and money. The author uses the man's life as an excuse to talk about buccaneers, the politics of colonization and an earthquake so horrible it feels like divine judgment. Whatever the case, I don't think I'm ambitious enough to hang out with the likes of anyone even resembling Sir Henry Morgan.

But I'm not just afraid of men. Plenty of women could beat me up, too. Point Last Seen is the story of a woman who became a professional tracker, finding people lost in the wilderness, while at the same time escaping an abusive relationship and protecting her children from her estranged husband. Over the course of the book, the author proves to be tougher and more persistent than I could ever be.

There are lots of dangerous people out there. It’s great that they have books. I’d hate to run the risk of making them mad in person.